There are only two problems on the planet – Men and Women! This is more than just a bumper sticker. It’s a wake-up call to get us thinking of ourselves as a species that needs the innate strengths of BOTH its sexes IN TRUE PARTNERSHIP to survive and to nurture the planet that supports it. That’s where Seduction – redefined as a natural influence for good – comes in.
Our large brain has given us the ability to imagine and create, as well as hate and destroy. We have been a successful species of social animals that form families, tribes and cultures. We have also conjured up the concept of war against our fellow humans and justifications for it. Our brains have given us the hubris to think that we can somehow survive when we drive other species to extinction and poison the air, water and land that support us.
And what does all this doom and gloom have to do with seduction? Hang on!
It would be easy to say that all these problems are created by men, but women share the responsibility by encouraging, or not sufficiently discouraging, destructive male behavior of the men in their lives. And, perhaps most importantly, by selecting men with destructive habits as mates.
There’s no blame here, because at this stage in our evolution, we are all products of the cultures in which we live. They are artificial constructs originally meant to support us, but have been so biased towards men for so long that something as basic as choosing a suitable mate has also become an unnatural process and seduction has been denigrated by male culture.
For example, the male-dominated film and advertising industries survive on the titillation of our basic drives by offering myths and products that purport to illustrate and satisfy them. That in turn perpetuates the need for those myths and products. The misinformation and the distortion of seduction for profit only complicate relations and cause misunderstandings between the sexes.
A quick review of my own life revealed a history of uneven experiences with men – based on my biological fascination with their bodies, my fear of the unknown, my low self-esteem, unrealistic expectations (like being swept off my feet by my Knight in Shining Armor), and going along with the popular convention of sarcasm in conversation with men. These were cultural norms, and I hold accountable the culture I inhabit for my living alone for years and for damaging the men around me. And it’s still happening in every generation.
Most men do not want nor have the ability to be ‘Knights in Shining Armor’. They want to display how suitable they are for mating, preferably without appearing to be displaying. They want to feel safe and loved in the arms of an understanding partner. They want understanding and kindness.
Women also want kindness from their mates. They also expect the Man Of Their Dreams to approach them, pursue them, to be the ready-made, perfect lover, husband, and father to their children. It’s a recipe for disappointment. Statistics show high divorce rates, women resentful of men, and forty per cent of American children being raised by single parents. One study showed that American women are unhappy with their lives, marriages, children and work. I think that women rediscovering their seductive potential can change that by forming true partnerships with men in all aspects of their lives.
Luckily for me, my intuitive seduction of Paul was the genesis of our partnership research and thus our discovery of Charles Darwin’s theory of Sexual Selection. We realized what the rest of the animal kingdom has been showing us forever – women are responsible for their own romance and choice of partnership.
Once we began to understand the roots of human behavior in evolutionary terms, we applied it to the genesis of war. The first spark of Seduction Redefined was ignited by the global (mostly-male) media when they wrote about and published photographs of thousands of (mostly) women in naked protests inspired by our pro-peace organization, BaringWitness.org.
Baring Witness happened when I had a dream in 2002, provoked by the news of the impending invasion of Iraq, of women’s bodies on the ground spelling PEACE. The male media treated Baring Witness with respect, however grudgingly, displaying a reaction to our vulnerability, lying nude and helpless on the earth. This global movement was a great revelation that vulnerability could be powerful and, yes, seductive! Thus, the gentle art of Seduction became a political word for us.
This science-based book will clear up most of your misunderstandings of the opposite sex. If taken to heart, it will lead to women learning to take responsibility for romance, women no longer waiting longingly for The Call, women remembering and regaining their biological feminine power in partnership with men.
Once women guide men into more conscious behaviors and into the equal brain partnership that our species really needs to survive, we just might save ourselves and our planet from men’s unconscious displays of prowess.
Love, Partnership and Peace, Donna Oehm Sheehan